What`s behind my decision and reason to reactivate my blog?

 Hi everybody, 

good to see You again here today. 

The immediate positive reactions from many of my globally distributed friends and network partners to my yesterday`s first post after 16 months of interruption have almost "killed" me.

To be true, I did not expect this really fantastic response, solidarity, support and tenderness of so many people at so many different places in the world, who mean so much to me. 

For this reason I felt, that I owe all of You some more background explanations about my decision and reasons to reactivate this blog.

But let me at first take You back a little further into the past and show You, how my obsession (?) with writing has originally started.

Actually my enthusiasm for writing down personal things incl. discoveries, experiences, learnings, emotions and - as well good as bad - feelings started at my sweet (?) age of about 10 years. 

At that time I was living - together with my mother, my sister, my brother and my grand-father - in a tiny village of not more than 1000 inhabitants in a rural area "in the middle of the forest" in south-western Germany.

My father had died when I was 6. My mother was striving for the economic survival of our familly and my 6 years older sister as well as my 7 years older brother were very much occupied with their own things and struggles all around the clock and therefore did not really find much free time to share with me. 

Thus my grandfather was mainly the person, with which I spent more time than with all other familly members during several years. 

I always admired the stories he told me about his own life, but for sure, most of the things he told me, seemed somehow for me, as if they had already happened centuries ago.

Just to point this out. I am talking about the end of the 60ties. These were still „cold war“ times with the damned "hot" war in Vietnam at the peak, the „students revolution“ shaking all european capitals, especially Paris and Berlin, and lots of political and cultural ruptures changing massively culture, philosophy, society and way of live in general.

I don`t remember when and how exactly this happened, but at a certain point of time I started, still a young boy, to discover the pleasure of writing diary. And I enjoyed it widely during a couple of months. 

Decades later I understood, that this most propably was a psychological phenomenon. My diary had taken over the role of a friend, whom I could tell everything, that moved me. And we all know, that to let things out - also in a figurative sense - gives us the sensation of relaxation and satisfaction.

But this great pleasure found it`s abrupt end one day, when I discovered a comentary hand written by my sister into my diary. Obviously she had found my supposedly well hidden diary and read through it. My shock and my frustration were so great, that I burned my diary and firmly decided, to never ever again start writing diary in the rest of my life.

About 25 years later this episod was already long forgotten and forgiven and my mind towards writing diary had opened again. 

Just arrived in Brazil, and seperated from my wife and children in Germany, I started writing diary again during the mid 90s. A good friend of mine later-on told me, that my diary had become my "psychiatrist". I would not deny that, because I really enjoyed to tell my diary things, which I would hardly ever have liked to share with anybody else. And I continued writing diary during the following 8 totally crazy years. 

Freshly married again exactly 8 years later, I sent "my psychiatrist" to hell, means I quit writing diary immediately. It was simply no longer necessary because - for sure - instead of manually writing down things in a notebook, I could share and discuss them with my new wife from then on.

By the way - I took the impressive stack of diaries, which I had written during the almost endless 8 years between my 2 marriages, along with me during all my movals from Brazil to Germany (I alone), from there to Spain (I alone), from Spain to Mexico (I alone) and later-on to all the different places, where my wife and our new familly lived altogether during 6 years in Mexico and since 2009 until now in Brazil.

Tell You truth. These diaries never again interested me, I never looked them up again and - instead of having turned into a treasure - they had more and more become a real burden for me. 

The desire to get once forever rid of them grew slowly in my mind over several years and I finally burned all my diaries to ashes during my Covid house arrest at the beginning of 2020 in our barbeque station at our house in Vinhedo, Sao Paulo. Only the metal spirals of my notebooks survived, before they went to the trash bin, together with all the remaining ash.

And truly spoken -  I never felt any pain of loss and I have never missed these diaries again since then. 

But soon after my return and firm settlement in Brazil, something new has started to happen slowly over years. 

Good friends started asking me repeatedly, to write down my rich life and work experiences, so that I could share these with others, especially with younger folks, who were interested in getting to know these and to learn from them.

Although I was flattered by these requests, I never really took them serious. 

But then Covid appeared and all our live and work routines changed over night.

After several months of "home office" confinement in our house, my interest in communication with more people outside allover the world and my willingness to transfer some of my life and work experiences, started to grow continuously.

During a sleepless night I got up at a still very early morning hour, sat down in our kitchen, prepared one of my beloved indian chai teas with milk, switched my notebook on and started to look up information about blogs, an idea which had already gone through my mind for a few days at that time.

It did not take me longer than 1 hour, to find out the basics about blogs in general and to identify the most popular and easy to use platforms for blogs. 

I choose the blog website platform that I am still using here today and - as everything was almost self- explanatory - I did not loose any time for getting immediately started and created „hands on“ and „learning by doing“ my brandnew own blog, wrote my very first post and went directly live with it.

All this had happened during early wednesday morning, June 18, 2020. 

When my wife and my son joined me for having breakfast, my blog was already on the air with my first post published. 

You can find it right here in my blog, further down on this page, the same as all my - so far 83 - other posts written and published since then.

During a quite long period from then on I wrote daily posts. And I really enjoyed and loved this. Until I finally - after 3 months - became exhausted and decided, to take some "time out". From then on I only wrote and published posts sporadically, whenever I felt like it. 

I admit, that I have made lots of learnings about blogs in general and about writing posts through all this time but I confess that - no doubt - there is still plenty of space for improvement. Maybe now I have become ripe for the next further development step.

But I never - since I got started on it - had the intention, nor the desire, to become a „super (blogger) star“, whatever this might be.  

For me this whole subject makes a hell of fun and opens a new wide window for communication and exchange of experiences with lovely and interesting friends and network contacts allover the world. 

I practise this „project“ (let‘s call it like this) purely for own intellectual and social purposes and fun !!!!.  

The most important objective for me during writing posts and communication with You is to keep and protect my authenticity, my transparency, my honesty (to myself and all others), my peacefulness and my liberalism (which also means openness to other opinions and beliefs, as long as they are not racist, discriminatory, doctrinary nor missionary) which - besides my other personal ethical and social orientations - reflect my own, personal „DNA“ and which are non-negotiable. 

One more important explanation. I take the freedom of choice, to freely describe here personal & professional experiences which I consider interesting for introduction and discussion with You. 

In a similiar situation as with my serious dificulties, to seperate „private“ from „professional“ subjects, a strong correlation exists between all my general interests and activities and my deep, intense cultural (music, literature, fine arts, cinema art, photography, architecture, history…..) enthusiasm, which shall be reflected here by my frequent mentionning and citation and publication of f.e. music videos, paintings, fotos and literature presentations and recommendations.

That`s why I give it so much importance, that You really understand my approach and intentions and why I appreciate so much Your feedback comments upon my posts and the open and friendly dialogue with You. 

I do no longer pretend to write daily posts here, but I will leave this completely open to my desire and mood, exactly according to my beloved motto (which is an alleged quote from the french king Luis XIV): "Le roy, cèst moy" ("The king am I"). 

Since my motto I just presented to You is also in French, here is a slightly older French song recommendation, that fits thematically (see https://www.songtell.com/axel-bauer/teins-la-lumi-re) very well with my today`s post:

https://youtu.be/7mpZh5JKVDM

Enjoy this wonderful weekend! See You back here soon.